How to Keep Your Cool During a Difficult Divorce

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The divorce rate in Florida is among the highest in the U.S. It’s common to see friends and family members go through a divorce, and everyone seems to have an opinion on how to go about it. No matter how emotionally mature you are, the truth is that every divorce is traumatic. No one walks toward the altar and invests in getting married with the assumption that they plan to get divorced, even if they have a prenup. At our firm, we have seen the best and worst situations play out, so here are some simple, but important ways to keep your cool, even during the heat of the moment.


Practice Mindfulness

You may have heard the term “mindfulness” during yoga or meditation class, or even from your therapist. Like most healthy ways to deal with difficult emotions, it’s always easier said than done. However, all skills take practice, and honing. For the uninitiated, mindfulness is a therapeutic technique that uses focusing on the present moment as a way to find a sense of calm. When you’re feeling anxious or angry, it’s like an out-of-body experience that takes a toll on your mental health. Mindfulness takes you back down to Earth.

If your ex says or does something that you find infuriating (as they likely will), practicing mindfulness will prevent you from acting before thinking and regretting the effect it has on the situation. Take the time to acknowledge your emotions, then breathe deeply. Think about how your body feels. If your muscles are tense, give yourself permission to physically relax. Focus on how the wind feels as it blows through your hair, or the warmth of the sun on your skin. Mindfulness won’t prevent you from feeling your emotions – and you should be feeling them – but it will help you find your footing during a difficult time.


Enhancing and Prioritizing Self-Care

Speaking of physically relaxing, have you had a chance to do that yet? It is scientifically proven that self-care has tangible benefits to your overall well-being. Self-care includes a variety of activities, most of which we do on a daily basis. Practicing basic hygiene, sleeping, relaxing, and eating are all forms of self-care, but we don’t tend to prioritize them if we’re busy or stressed. Enhancing self-care will look different for every person, but finding that special activity that helps elevate your mood is very important. If you like manicures and pedicures, splurge a little and get one of the enhancements, like paraffin wax, or even a massage. If you live an active lifestyle, try a new activity that will help you practice mindfulness and being in-tune with your body. Most of all: if you need more time to relax, don’t beat yourself up for not living up to your own harsh expectations. It’s only truly resting if you’re not preoccupied with all the challenges of life and feeling guilty.


Maintaining Financial Awareness

This is a tricky one, but while you’re practicing awareness of your mind and body, why not add your wallet? If you find retail therapy comforting, it’s a sad reality that it’s not a healthy coping mechanism. Even if you’re doing well financially, and plan to do so after the divorce is finalized, you often have to provide extensive details on your finances. Depending on the amount you spend and what you spend the money on, this could negatively affect the outcome of negotiations. Divorce also tends to be expensive in general, so it’s best to invest in things that will help you overcome this difficult time.

Remember, divorces are difficult, and emotions can run high. It’s important to take care of yourself and seek support when and where you need it. With the right state of mind and coping skills, you can stay calm and navigate the divorce process with grace and dignity.


There is a happy life waiting for you. Our trusted Legal Team provides bilingual legal services in Broward and Miami-Dade Counties. We handle all financial aspects of Florida Divorces, including Mediation, Postnuptial Agreements, and Asset Protection.


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The information in this blog post (“post”) is provided for general informational purposes only and may not reflect the current law in your jurisdiction. No information in this post should be construed as legal advice from the individual author or the law firm, nor is it intended to be a substitute for legal counsel on any subject matter. No reader of this post should act or refrain from acting based on any information included in or accessible through this post without seeking the appropriate legal or other professional advice on the particular facts and circumstances at issue from a lawyer licensed in the recipient’s state, country, or other appropriate licensing jurisdiction.

Divorce & Mediation Law Firm | Cabanas Law Firm
18503 Pines Blvd, Suite 301
Pembroke Pines, FL 33029
(954) 447-2580

Sergio Cabanas, Esq. | Family Law Attorney | Cabanas Law Firm

Sergio Cabanas, Esq. founded the Cabanas Law Firm in 2006 and provides Divorce and Family legal services, as well as Estate Planning, to ensure his clients have planned for their newly single life and are protected after their divorce. He began his career in law in 1992 as a prosecuting attorney at the Broward County State Attorney’s Office, then continued his litigation track as an insurance defense attorney defending medical professionals against medical malpractice claims and expanded into disability and life insurance claims. Sergio is a Certified Mediator registered in the Supreme Court of Florida and a frequent speaker in the community about the importance of Estate Planning to keep families out of probate court and to prepare essential instructions in the event of disability or incapacity.