Navigating High-Conflict Divorces: Tips For Remaining Level-Headed & Tuning Out The Drama

Get The Legal Help You Need!

No matter your reason for divorce, the legal process and its emotional impacts can be challenging to navigate. If you’re married to someone who doesn’t want to get a divorce or is non-compliant and intent on making matters as difficult as possible, divorce can be especially tumultuous. However, amidst the chaos that divorce can create, there is always the promise of a fresh start. In order to close this chapter of your story so that you can begin a new one, it’s important to remain level-headed and tune out the drama that your spouse insists on creating. Below are a few of the ways that this can be possible.

What Is High-Conflict Divorce?

High-Conflict Divorce describes divorces where one or both spouses engage in negative behaviors to intentionally derail the process or inflict unnecessary emotional pain on one another. (

Understanding the Landscape of High-Conflict Divorces

Before discussing the ways and importance of keeping your cool in a high-conflict divorce, it’s important that you understand the complexity and landscape of contentious territory. Situations like these usually present a unique set of challenges that can test even the calmest individuals.

Understanding these challenges is crucial so that you can implement the strategies that will keep you civilized as you navigate the delicate journey of divorce.

There are several reasons why tensions run high during divorce, like the fact that your assets, property, and debts have to be divided up. Unfortunately, this part of divorce can bring out the worst in people, as both spouses have their own ideas of what they’re entitled to. If two spouses share children together, this can heighten the conflict as the emotional stakes are even higher when it comes to parenting styles, making decisions that will affect the children’s future, parenting schedules, and more.

The Power of Maintaining a Level Head

When you’re navigating the turbulent seas of divorce, there is power in remaining level headed. The ability to stay composed and rationalize the circumstances of your situation is an invaluable asset that can provide great benefit for you in the long run. It fosters a more constructive relationship and means of communication so that you can make informed decisions regarding your assets and more. If you and your spouse share children together, remaining calm can prove to be especially important, as losing your cool might show a judge that you aren’t fit to have sole or even shared custody.

By taking a back seat to the drama, you can further prove your responsibility and dedication as a parent, which can prove to a judge that you might be the better suited caretaker. After all, a judge is the one who’ll ultimately decide on timesharing  arrangements.

Choosing to walk a noble path can be hard, but it can help control the turmoil of a messy divorce and show your spouse that their attempts to provoke or incite reactions in you are ineffective. It also protects you and your children’s well-being, which can lead to a better, more stable future.

Strategies for Toning Out Your Problematic Spouse

Taking the high road in tense situations can be arduous, but it’s the best route to take when you’re dealing with a hostile spouse. Below are a few strategies for toning down the drama:

  • Keep any communication you have with your soon to be ex-spouse brief and leave your emotions out of the equation. This includes in-person or over-the-phone interactions. Don’t send emotional texts or emails that could be used against you in court.
  • Keep your kids away from these interactions. Shield their understanding of the situation.
  • Focus on the big picture of it all. Eventually, the process will end, and you can have the fresh start you deserve. Don’t waste your time or energy entertaining the negativity radiating from your spouse.
  • Understand that your spouse’s reactions and emotions are not your fault and are not something you can fix. As trying as it may be, it’s time to take care of yourself and your children alone.
  • Hire an experienced divorce attorney who can help you separate facts from feelings.

Legal Tools to Minimize Drama

When divorce is contentious, there are legal tools that can help you minimize the drama and prevent further conflict. Having a comprehensive understanding of the legal tools at your disposal is essential to safeguarding your interests and reaching the best possible solution. Below are a few of those options:

  • Divorce attorney – an essential legal tool if you want to have the best odds at protecting your rights, children, and assets.
  • Temporary restraining orders or injunctions against violence or stalking – if your spouse’s behavior has escalated and you fear for the safety of you or your children, this is a legal right that you can explore to prevent further engagement during the divorce process.
  • Mediation – a more amicable way of resolving divorce disputes, which isn’t likely in a highly conflictive divorce, but is still possible and usually the best case scenario when children are involved.
  • Forensic accounting  – if money is a big issue in your divorce, enlisting the help of a professional can help you make informed decisions regarding your finances, without making it your main focus.

Prioritizing Your Well-Being and Moving Forward

No matter what the reasons for your divorce are, or what your combative spouse throws your way, it is important to protect your peace. Remember to check in with yourself and take care of yourself. If you don’t do that, it will make taking care of your children even more difficult, and reaching a feasible solution will be daunting.

How Divorce And Mediation Law Firm, Cabanas Law Firm, Can Help

If you’re married to a narcissist who wants to fight you on every aspect of your divorce, or bullies and blames you for your marriage not working out, we’re prepared to advocate aggressively for you. Our divorce attorneys have years of experience with Florida divorce law, so we know what it takes to help you achieve a positive outcome. Call Divorce & Mediation Law Firm | Cabanas Law Firm to request a consultation and learn about your options in divorce.

Copyright © 2024. Divorce & Mediation Law Firm | Cabanas Law Firm. All rights reserved.  

The information in this blog post (“post”) is provided for general informational purposes only and may not reflect the current law in your jurisdiction. No information in this post should be construed as legal advice from the individual author or the law firm, nor is it intended to be a substitute for legal counsel on any subject matter. No reader of this post should act or refrain from acting based on any information included in or accessible through this post without seeking the appropriate legal or other professional advice on the particular facts and circumstances at issue from a lawyer licensed in the recipient’s state, country, or other appropriate licensing jurisdiction.

Divorce & Mediation Law Firm | Cabanas Law Firm
18503 Pines Blvd, Suite 301
Pembroke Pines, FL 33029
(954) 447-2580


Sergio Cabanas, Esq. founded the Cabanas Law Firm in 2006 and provides Divorce and Family legal services, as well as Estate Planning, to ensure his clients have planned for their newly single life and are protected after their divorce. He began his career in law in 1992 as a prosecuting attorney at the Broward County State Attorney’s Office, then continued his litigation track as an insurance defense attorney defending medical professionals against medical malpractice claims and expanded into disability and life insurance claims. Sergio is a Certified Mediator registered in the Supreme Court of Florida and a frequent speaker in the community about the importance of Estate Planning to keep families out of probate court and to prepare essential instructions in the event of disability or incapacity.